Jacqui Beck

My artwork is colorful, personal, experimental, and expressive. For me, it’s a way to experience and understand my life more fully. I paint about the connection of all things, keeping in mind both the depth and whimsy of life.

For this project, I interviewed people who were gender nonconforming. Many reported that questioning themselves about gender led to a deeper understanding of who they are and a sense of what is and isn’t important in life. I experienced a deep connection with their thoughtfulness and insight.

Gender is primal, and it manifests uniquely within each of us.  Early in my son’s transition, I learned that “How do you know you’re a guy?” is not a good question. It presumes a rational explanation for something that runs deeper than words, and it pressures people to oversimplify and justify who they are.

As I talked with my son Finnbar about his experience of gender, we learned more about ourselves and each other. We got closer and developed more tolerance for the range of human experience and expression.

I did a lot of soul searching, especially during the year after Finnbar came out. I used my art and writing to explore and express feelings that were confusing and messy. I painted about my messy feelings. This process helped me to understand I don’t need to change who he is and that I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I just need to respect, celebrate, and love who he is.

So that is what I did with this project. I listened as these wonderful people told me about who they are and what they have gone through as gender nonconforming individuals. Then I went to the studio to paint and write about my experience with them. It is a wonderful way to celebrate who they are.

See some of Jacqui’s other work on her website, www.jacquibeck.com.